Job 10:1
“My soul is weary of my life and loathe it! . . . I will speak out in the bitterness of my soul.”
Life is justly esteemed a blessing; and we are properly taught in the Liturgy to thank God, as well for our creation, as for our preservation, and redemption.
But to the greater part of mankind this world is a chequered scene at best; and to very many it is only a valley of tears. Had we seen Job in his prosperity, we would have been led perhaps to form a more favorable estimate of the present state; but there are changes in the affairs of men, as much as in the air and seas. The day that dawned with the most promising appearance, may be overcast with clouds, and blackened with tempests, before the sun has reached its meridian height! Thus it was with Job; the man that was the envy of all who knew him, was in a short space of time so reduced, as to exclaim, “My soul is weary of my life.”
I. We shall show that this is a common experience of men.
“My soul is weary of my life.” Daily observation proves that it is common,
1. Among the ungodly.
It arises from domestic trials. Who can tell what trouble:
a tyrannical or unfaithful husband,
a contentious or imprudent wife,
a rebellious or extravagant son,
an indiscreet or unchaste daughter,
may occasion?
There is scarcely a family to be found where something does not happen to embitter life, and to make death an object of desire!
From personal troubles also the same disquietude will spring. Pain and sickness, when of long continuance, and especially when accompanied with the infirmities of old age—cause many to wish for a speedy dissolution.
Poverty too, will so oppress the spirits, particularly when occasioned by one’s own extravagance or folly, as to make the soul weary of life. Yes, to such a degree are the minds of men oppressed by troubles of this kind, that a deliverance from them is frequently sought in suicide!
Even a mere sense of the emptiness of all earthly things will often fill the soul with disgust, and cause it to sigh for a release from the body, in which it finds no satisfactory enjoyment.
Many, in the midst of youth, health, and affluence, while moving in a constant round of amusements, and free from every external trouble—are yet so weary of life, that they would gladly part with it immediately, if they were not afraid of entering into the infernal world!
But, above all, a guilty conscience renders man “a burden to himself.” A person “weary and heavy-laden” with a sense of sin, and not knowing where to go for rest, is indeed a pitiable object. He wishes that he had never been born, or that he could be again reduced to a state of non-existence. If he might but be annihilated like the beasts, he would gladly accept the offer, and most thankfully forego all hope of Heaven, to obtain deliverance from the fears of Hell!
2. Among the godly.
Not even the most eminent saints are altogether free from this experience. They are not, while in the flesh, above the reach of temporal afflictions. They are not indeed overcome by every little trouble, like those who know not God. Yet they are not insensible to pain or pleasure; they have their feelings, as well as other men. Pains of body, loss of substance, bereavements of friends, injuries from enemies—may, when accumulated, cast them down; and produce, as in the case of Job, extreme dejection.
The weight of spiritual troubles is felt by these exclusively; nor can those who have never experienced their pressure, form any just conception respecting them. Who can describe the anguish that is occasioned by violent temptations, powerful corruptions, unsuccessful conflicts? What language can paint the distress of a soul under the hidings of God’s face, and the apprehensions of his wrath? Can we wonder that a person long exercised with such trials, should say, “Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then I would fly away, and be at rest! Psalm 55:4-6.” Surely “the spirit of a man may sustain other infirmities; but a wounded spirit who can bear? Proverbs 18:14.”
The commonness of this experience may well lead us to,
II. We shall inquire into the reasons of it.
“My soul is weary of my life.”
Many reasons may be assigned, but we shall limit ourselves to a few:
1. Impatience.
Job, whose patience is celebrated even by God himself, when borne down by the weight of his afflictions, cursed the day of his birth! Job 3:1-22, and longed exceedingly for death! Job 6:8-9; and would have been glad to have had a end put to his existence, even by strangling, rather than to have it protracted any longer in such misery! Job 7:15-16.
To the same source we must trace those hasty wishes, which we also are ready to form in seasons of great calamity. If “patience had its perfect work in us,” we should be willing to bear whatever God might see fit to lay upon us. But “in the day of adversity, the strongest of us are too apt to faint.”
2. Unbelief.
From this more particularly arose that weariness and aversion to life which the Prophet Elijah manifested, when he fled from Jezebel. He had encountered Ahab, and slain all the prophets of Baal, in dependence on the divine protection; but when this wicked woman threatened him, he did not take counsel from the Lord, but instantly fled into the wilderness; and, to get rid of all his dangers and difficulties at once, requested God to kill him! 1 Kings 19:4.
Had he felt the same security in God us on former occasions, he would have been quite composed, knowing assuredly that without God’s permission not a hair of his head could fall to the ground.
Thus when afflictions render us weary of life, we show that we have forgotten the promise of Jehovah to make all things work together for our good. When we know that medicine is operating for our good, we disregard the uneasiness that it occasions; we are contented even to pay for the prescriptions, from a confidence that we shall be benefitted by them in the outcome.
Just so, should we not welcome the prescriptions of our heavenly Physician, if we duly considered his unerring wisdom, goodness, and truth? Instead of repining and murmuring on account of God’s afflictive dispensations, we should rest satisfied that our heavenly Father knows best!
3. A forgetfulness of our real desert.
Man, as a sinner, deserves the curse of the law, and the wrath of God. Suppose we bore this in mind—would we not say, even under the most accumulated trials, “You have punished us less than our iniquities deserve! Ezra 9:13.” Would not a recollection of our desert of death and Hell constrain us to cry, “Shall a living man complain, a man for the punishment of his sins? Lamentations 3:39.”
Would Jonah have been so clamorous for death, and so ready to justify his impatience before God, Jonah 4:2-3; Jonah 4:8-9, if he had considered what he merited at God’s hands?
Just so, neither should we be so fretful under our sufferings, if only we bore in mind that instead of being put into the furnace of affliction, we should, if dealt with according to our deserts, be cast into the flames of Hell! We should learn rather to adopt the sentiment of the Church of old, “I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him! Micah 7:9.”
4. A disregard of the great ends of life.
It is truly humiliating to find not only such querulous, and almost doubtful, characters as Jonah, but the bold Elijah, the pious David, the patient Job—fainting in their trials, and longing for their death. But to this catalogue we must add another, even Moses, the meekest of mankind. Even this holy man, unable to bear up under the burdens imposed upon him, complains of them to God, and says, “If you deal thus with me, I beg you to kill me! Numbers 11:14-15.” Would he have offered such a petition if he had reflected on the benefits which had already accrued to Israel by his means, and, humanly speaking, the incalculable loss which they would sustain by his removal?
Just so, should not we also be more willing to endure our trials, if we considered what valuable ends might be promoted by our continuance under them? Perhaps we are not prepared to die; for people are most apt to wish for death when they are least prepared to meet it! For the sake of extricating themselves from some heavy earthly afflictions—many commit suicide and thus plunge themselves, both body and soul, into the everlasting miseries of Hell!
But, supposing that we are prepared, may not others be greatly edified by our example, our counsels, and our prayers? May not our own weight of glory also be greatly increased, by a due improvement of our light and momentary afflictions? 2 Corinthians 4:17. Is not this last consideration alone sufficient to reconcile us to a prolonging of our troubles, and a deferring of our heavenly felicity? For this sublime idea the author is in a measure indebted to a poor woman (so poor as to be supported by the parish), who, when in great pain, and almost in dying circumstances, replied (in answer to what he had suggested respecting the rest and happiness that awaited her), “True, Sir, but in some respects affliction is better even than Heaven itself; for, etc. etc.”
We may indeed be in a strait between the two; but we shall, like Paul, be willing to live, when we reflect how much better that may be both for ourselves and others, Philippians 1:23-24.
Towards lessening this common evil, we shall,
III. Prescribe some remedies for it.
The painful experience before described may be mitigated, and in many cases wholly prevented, by,
1. A due attention to our worldly callings.
People under the pressure of heavy afflictions are apt to give themselves up to sorrow, and to neglect the proper duties of their calling. By this means their minds become more and more enervated; their spirits sink, and they fall a prey to their sorrows; and die of a broken heart. But if, instead of thus yielding to lowness of spirits, they would employ themselves in their accustomed duties, their occupations would divert their attention from their troubles, and give scope and opportunity to the mind to recover its proper tone. Whether the troubles be of a temporal or spiritual nature, this remedy should be applied. We must not indeed go and plunge ourselves into business or amusement in order to get rid of reflection, (that would be to run into a contrary extreme;) but we should never be so occupied with our sufferings as to forget or neglect our duties. It is remarkable, that when God repeated to the fugitive prophet that expostulatory question, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” he ordered him, not to sit any longer wishing for death, but to go about the business which yet remained for him to do; namely, to return to Damascus, and anoint Hazael to be king of Syria, and Jehu to be king of Israel, and Elisha to be his successor in the prophetic office, 1 Kings 19:15-16. And in the same manner, it befits us not to sit wishing for the spoils of victory, but to continue fighting until God shall call us to put off our armor!
2. A close walk with God.
It is strange that heavy trials which are sent to bring us to God, often prevail rather to drive us from him! We complain, “We are so overwhelmed with trouble, that we cannot think of our souls or compose our minds for supplication to God.” But we are particularly commanded to “call on God in the time of trouble, Psalm 50:15;” and to “cast all our care upon Him, who cares for us, 1 Peter 5:7.” We see in the instance of Paul how speedily our sorrows might be turned into joy, if only we would use this remedy, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.
Surely one ray of the light of his countenance would dissipate all our darkness, and change our impatient murmurings into “thanksgiving and the voice of melody.” If we were bowed down with a sense of guilt—then one glimpse of Christ would remove the load from our conscience. If we were harassed with the fiercest temptations or most overwhelming fears—then one word from him would quiet the tempestuous ocean, and qualify us for encountering all the storms with which we might at any time be overtaken.
3. A frequent survey of Heaven.
A view of Heaven would indeed excite desires after the full enjoyment of it. But this is very different from the experience which is described in the text. Our longings after Heaven cannot be too ardent, provided we are contented to wait God’s time in order to possess it! 2 Peter 3:12. This is an important distinction, and most accurately marked by the Apostle Paul. He knew that Heaven was the portion prepared for him; and he earnestly desired to enjoy it, 2 Corinthians 5:1-3; but these desires did not spring from an impatient wish to get rid of his troubles, or to terminate his conflicts—but from a thirst after God himself, and the perfect fruition of his glory! 2 Corinthians 5:4.
Now this would be a most effectual remedy against the other. The brighter the views we had of the glory that awaits us—the less we would regard the sufferings of this present time!
“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us!” Romans 8:18.”
If the years of labor and servitude appeared to Jacob only as a few days, because of the love he bore to Rachel, and the desire he had to possess her as his wife, Genesis 29:20, so will the tribulations which are appointed as our way to the kingdom, Acts 14:22, appear of little concern, when we look to the end of our journey, and the felicity we shall then enjoy!
Charles Simeon